How to Find Space for Casual Community

Putting down the content calendars and picking up a new hobby

A quick preamble to say that With Sarah is back after my hiatus to facilitate registration for our Holdette summer season. We kicked off with our community orientation earlier this month and I’m excited for what the next three months will hold. I’m also excited to have time back to muse on community things.

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Good Move Dance Studio in Willaimsburg

A few weeks ago I went to a Hip Hop dance class in Williamsburg. Now if you knew me when I was 12 (fortunately this applies to very few of you), then you’d know this was not my first time venturing into the poppin, lockin, world of hip-hoppin'.

When I was 11 I got my black belt in Tae Kwon Do, and upon reaching that summit, decided I’d had enough with the entire practice. I’d accomplished what I came for and was ready to climb my next Kilimanjaro. As an itty bitty pre-teen, my body wasn’t naturally made for the rhythm and coordination of hip-hop. But my incredibly high amount of energy needed to be put somewhere and so my parents graciously signed me up for three months of learning how to walk it out and step touch my way to dance greatness.

I don’t want to paint the picture that I was a quitter, but I’ll cut to the chase and say that I lasted one season before I had to call it. Our instructor had us dancing to a choreographed version of the Mario theme song and dressed in full-body Mario costumes. Wouldn’t you be out after that too?? Clearly, this was not what I had anticipated when I had explained to my parents that this was the natural evolution of my exercise career.

Fast forward 10 years, I moved to New York and became an Equinox™ member for a little over a year. A lover of keeping my workout routine fresh, last month I put my membership on pause to try out ClassPass. It was through ClassPass that I discovered the Good Move dance studio in South Williamsburg and the confidence to give Hip Hop another shot.

I love Good Move because they believe every move is good. Follow the choreography? Awesome. Choose not to? Wow, what a great opportunity for a solo! I get to show up and groove and vibe with the sole purpose of releasing endorphins and having a great time.

Now if you recall my troubling past with Hip Hop you can imagine how overjoyed I was when I plopped down outside the studio to wait for class to start and the girl next to me ventured “Is this also your first time?”. Sort of. I had been to “Adult Beginner Dance (Hot Bitch)” on Monday, but I was a Hip Hop class newbie, I replied.

Lauren, my new dance friend, and I cheered each other all the way through class and I ended up walking her to the subway after as she was new to the city. We got bubble tea the next weekend and spent the afternoon sharing about our college experiences, relationships, and childhood family traditions. It was spectacular.

As someone who does community management all day both at work and outside of it, it’s really easy to get swept up by the process-driven nature of the work. The metrics, the seeded content, and the programming are all in place to ultimately help our community members build the exact kind of serendipitous friendship I had just made with Lauren. But I think being someone who is so aware of how a community is “supposed to be built” I had lost an appreciation for casual community and unexpected connections. Engineering relationships through key touch points and engagement flows for other people had left me without the mental space and appreciation for building community the way it was done before we had guides and courses on how to do it just right. In reality, community has always been built through a shared interest and brave “hello” to the gal sitting next to you. I have to imagine that regardless of your role, there’s some magic of the every day that gets lost when you become intimately familiar with the inner workings of how that magic came to be.

Meeting Lauren was a good reminder of the power of connecting over a shared interest, even if that interest is sparked by a desire to redeem Mario-themed dance trauma. This summer my intention is to say yes to the casual community, the serendipity of unforeseen friendship.

To my fellow community managers, builders, party planners, and people gatherers, I hope you find the space in this season to develop relationships that weren’t orchestrated by a master content calendar. Try that dance class, attend an event at your local bookstore, go to a concert. Revel in the casual community.